Wednesday, January 19, 2011

there's just too much

(did i use the right "too" andrea?)

Things i want to blog about: day life dad

Time i've wasted thinking about how much i want to blog: Approx 3hours
Craving: Tea
Mood Status: Lazy (therefore no tea, hence the craving)

today i was literally dragged out my bed by my dad, who kept saying
"im not forcing you to do anything you dont want to do Lisa, but you have to go to orientation"
i honestly thought it would be pointless, and in a way it was

i found out things i probably knew already
how did my dad put it...
"it is not good to start the year off with a negative obstacle, now its not as if to say you wont be able to overcome this later on, but why put yourself through that? why let others start off ahead of you" 
those where his words
and at 6:35am how could i argue with that?

Tech is so different to university, its easier actually, smaller classes, one set program, people, friends and so much more....i feel like im getting ahead of myself, can life really be this good? is this what i want? and even if it wasn't what i want, would i still be unhappy?

they say we should forget what we did in high school, that these are different subjects with the same names -- im not sure when last i've seen lectures so enthusiastic, is this actually going to be fun?

and let me not talk about the ethics of this all -- bc im still not sure how i feel about that

"i see you sitting alone, would you like to join us in the shade?"

people are friendly
and i find myself smiling at people i dont know
and talking to strangers
and admitting my flaws

"do our timetables match up? i want to see if we have free lessons together"
"theres this sweet cafe/pub less than fifteen mins away, we can totally go there for lunch"
"im vegetarian too"

people want to be my friend
really, im shocked, people are nice, and super smart
i keep reminding myself not to judge others
and that we are all here doing the same thing for similar reasons
we all have goals and interests and its all in the same field of study
this isn't uni where everyone is on their own mission
this is a class

hahaha and im making this sound so gay

every time i see the mountain i want to say "wow, look at the mountain"
i want to have a conversation with every friendly security woman who sits at the end of every lonely passage that i find myself walking aimlessly through

i want to tan my legs outside and wear my sunglasses
and in hail sam's second hand smoke

(i want faheem to be there, to hold my hand and to enjoy this with me)
but i guess we cant have it all

i want to be an independent woman
yes -- i decided this, this morning
i want to be busy
and plan things, make appointments
and be important

i want to smile knowing my day was worth while
and be tired at the end of the day
and be excited for tomorrow

but most of all....

i want to know what to wear tomorrow


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