Thursday, January 27, 2011

(just came to say hello)

its late
i feel like my head is too heavy for my body
or neck
(you know what i mean)

i want to sleep
but i want to blog more

watched micheal cera sing
ah -- and his little guitar playing

"Romonaaaa ... on my mind"

found these pictures...

missing andrea's hair
and just being amazed at the fact that its purple
and wanting a picture of it

wanting my hair to be blonde
and beachy
and long

im going for a "trim" on saturday
which really means:
--they're gona cut my hair short and i will hate it--

listening to "incinerate"
a song from guitar hero
wanting to play
for an audiance*
excited for the met and to dress up

wanting to see friends
and to be with them always
to talk to chey and find out whats going on
(reading your sms atm)

will not be going to uct
or studying humanities

i cant
cant go back to the uncertainty
of not knowing which subjects to pick
or what to major in
(even you listing all my options on the phone scared me)
or what i will do with my life afterwards
or even if i'll be able to have a life afterwards

hearing my dads words of
"there's nothing more demeaning than four years of studying and not being able to get a decent job
or having to become a teacher"

im tired of the awkward conversations with people about my future
or of people saying "well atleast its interesting"
 being judged
and afraid

im tired of writing essays and reading
and trying to be someone i haven't become

i like being able to say
"im doing biotechnology for the next three years and then a fourth year of medical bioscience"
i like sounding smart
and not doing the "mathlit of university work"

people can be cruel

thinking that if i ever get a tattoo
id want it to look something like this

glad that everyone seems to be enjoying their orientation period
praying we all keep our enthusiasm
and thanking God for helping me appreciate what i have

and lastly....
hoping you guys dont forget about your friend Lisa who doesnt go to uct

love always and goodnight

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