Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard...

currently obsessing over "i think i wana marry you" (marry you) the glee version
bruno mars is -- actually i dont have words for how great he is --
and then glee just makes his songs awesome!

yes. now i just want someone to marry

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll go, go, go, go-go.
If you’re ready, like I’m ready

[i cant stop playing it!]

missing my friends so much
everyone who isn't currently here

im so bored. not bc i have to be, but bc i want to be
well im just to lazy to be anything else

i even uploaded some pics on facebook

i love how cute nicolas can be. and his hair.

im not even amped for the shopping expedition im about to embark on later
--LOL cant believe i just typed those words--
i think im more amped for the smoothie that i will buy to drink while i shop

did i mention i actually ate breakfast this morning
since Saturday all i've been eating is my moms trifle
left over from christmas
and thank gd she put nuts in, else i wouldnt be getting any protein at all

eating is such a las
so is being vegetarian
but i just bring myself to eat meat again
i feel like Julia Roberts in eatpraylove
"i dont have an appetite any more"

anyway, im off for some shopping*

Saturday, December 18, 2010

Behind the wheel

if only bicycles were cool and i never needed a licence

Sometime during this past week my little cousins came over, there are about 3 of them, including my brother, which makes 4 and including me...makes 5 (I'm recalling the number bc I know I had to get out of bed and make them breakfast. Which is not the easiest thing in the world, but my mom wasn’t home and I was scared they would starve to death...they’re kids and so little)
I honestly do love them
Even though we all get annoyed with each other and argue over who gets to be on the computer. We all are pretty much like brothers and sisters. Of the five of us, there are two girls and three why am I saying all this?
Oh right, I want to tell you what we did...

We went to Grand West, think about it, we don’t give that place enough credit and with the right people it has the potential to be epic. EPIC

So I had my right people and we set off
And after much debating we eventually arrived at some conclusion as to what we would do for the evening... wait. You’re probably wondering why I would say Grand West is epic? one even goes there.... But there’s just SO much to do! Movies, games, ice skating, go carts, fun rides, bowling, and they have amazing restaurants and bathrooms! Seriously. ...and now that I'm 18, lets not forget the casino ... which, I still haven’t been to and not sure I want to, isn’t it for, like, old people? What would I even do? Would I lose money? Wait...could I win money? Could I win a car? Omgosh... #ineedanswers!

So anyway, we went ice skating, which is always such a vaab, I'm really good at it, and can’t remember the last time I’ve fallen. I think I may even want skates for Christmas. Yes! And there were these two little girls who were total pro’s at skating, dancing around and doing actions to whatever song that was playing. It was pure fun. I want to go again, why didn’t we go with the Australians or something? Thats the touristy thing to do isn’t it?

After skating was Go carting...though I think we grabbed a bite to eat first, again, feeding 5 mouths is never easy. We also bumped into my dad who then was convinced to come watch us, while we went on the go carts, and in my head I already knew he would judge me on this for future driving

Lets just say I have a history of speeding? Kay thats a lie, it was that one time on a quad bike. Which my mom will never forget!

Go carting was brutally competitive, the boys where in front in the beginning but I eventually passed each and every one of them, the last  one being "a very close call" as my dad put it
But thats not what I wanted to say, I wanted to blog about what happened after that...theres another mini go cart tract, its smaller but faster, so much more faster and by the look of it...i should have known it was unsafe...but this was my chance to beat the boys. Again

So I buckled my seatbelt (a single strap) around my waist, tied up my hair, and kept my right foot down hard on the acceleration, even before the race had begun. I should have been listening to what the man was saying...but common, this thing was tiny, how complicated could it be? ... all I caught was “if you bump the side twice, you will be thrown off, no refund” and “shake the steering wheel if you get stuck”....and then we were off

Its funny how you forget things when something traumatic happens its the brains way of coping with things

I remember discovering that the more you shake the steering wheel the faster your little car went, but logically the more you shake the steering wheel, the less control you have over your little car.

 I remember passing Nicolas before we took the bend, when I swerved out of control and the front of my car touched the side of the railing but then, the next thing Nicolas came flying straight into the back of me hitting me hard and ramming me straight into the railing, spinning my little car completely sideways.
 It was loud. All the cars on the track stopped. Everything stopped.
And my seat belt hit me hard. Really hard, for a moment I thought “dear God please don’t tell me I broke my pelvis bone”,
my hair was mess and I was in complete shock!
The stupid man came over and told me “not to do it again blaaa blaaa” he was rude.
But wait, did I mention that all of this happened right infront of my father, he witnessed the whole thing and mouthed the words “are you okay?” to me...
the next three or four laps feel like a blur, and even though I was scared shitless, I still wanted to win.
Which didn’t happen

So what lesson do we learn here children? Speed kills

When we got home my dad gave a “I cant believe that out of all the go cart races I watched tonight, the only accident that happened was between my children” speech
Which involved him and Nicolas arguing about who caused the accident
 while I sat there saying...
 “but those cars were really fast and completely out of control”...every now and then

I cant say I never want to race again, I totally won the first race, did I mention I beat all the boys? But I can say I never want to go on those stupid things again bc really
“those cars were really fast and completely out of control”


Effortlessly red



"i think its a good thing i chose to do photography  over physics
~Nicolas George

The Story Behind these:
i know these are super posed and that im wearing make up and everything
but the truth is, i didnt plan this at all
My mom does this thing where she buys me clothes* ...she's an obsessive shopper
you know, like in the movies where the mom goes out and buys clothing for her little girl so she can dress her up.
Well thats my mom, still.
and so im used to coming home and finding new clothes laid on my bed, waiting for me to try on.
This evening i came home to this gorgeous dress, i remember fitting it on immediately, and then just coming to sit here by the computer in it. 
Just being on Facebook in my New Black dress, bc i can
im not sure how i came across my camera, i think i wanted to show Nicolas a few pictures on it. Oh yes, bc i had taken pictures of him, earlier...and then we decided to take pictures of my beautiful new dress, against the red wall we have here at our place
so i put on some red lipstick, and the rest is history*

Friday, December 17, 2010

despicable me [lyrics review?...kinda]

so apparently my last post was really sad
im not going to remove it, i like it
gosh, is that okay to say?

i just read the review on black swan. im scared. really. i dont want to see it anymore...
but i do
and now im just scared and i dont know whats okay and whats not

:) im listening to fun fun fun by Pharrell, he wrote most of the songs for the movie Despicable Me
it is! my new fave
i cant explain how cute it is
i've been watching it over and over

and Pharrells words are great, not to mention his voice!
the lyrics to the first song "despicable me" go something like...

Im having a bad bad day
its about time that I get my way
steam rolling whatever i see,

ah despicable me

I’m having a bad bad day
if you take it personal thats ok,
watch this is so fun to see,
ah despicable me
(rap part)

Why ask why better yet why not?
Why are you marking x on that spot?
Why use a blow torch isn’t that hott?
Why use a chainsaw is that all you got?
Why do you like seeing people in shock?
But my question to you is why not?


Why parallel when I can just park?
Why does vector think that he’s smart?
And does his dad know I know his part
Why did I have to live with my mom?
Why do you think that I should be calm?
Why want the moon, the Worlds in my palm!

and then it ends off with...

Can you chill?
Cause Gru Got the speakers and the trunk to make you
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
To make you bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce

haha okay, i cut out some words there and maybe you should download it so you can hear him just being cool and asking the simple question of "why?"

"fun fun fun" is so happy, its written for when Gru (the lead character) is with the kids and they go to a fan park

Take me, far away
       As long as it's fun fun fun fun fun fun fun I wanna go!

     The school bell rings, what ive been waiting for.
 And you just spring, and run for the door,
hey its summer mom, hey its summer dad,
 man its been so long, since the children had...
A good time

Hey, maybe it all probably takes it's toll?
 hey, but didn't i make honor roll?
either way, eat your words
it's our time we deserve.
Oh to have a good time.

Take me, far away, anywhere.
 As long as it's fun fun fun fun fun fun fun I wanna go!

No more homework, or PTA.
No more lunch food, as toxic waste.
Lets get Mickey D's? as a matter of fact, lets get happy meals, wanna sundae man?

its our time, we deserve.
Oh to have a good time.

"its sooo fluuuurrrfffy!"

and i know its 3am and i should be in bed
im okay guys
i have God

  • eventually going to sleep
  • tomorrow
  • shopping
  • seeing my friends and watching tv
  • those biscuits we will make #omgiwantthem
  • tomorrow being over
  • Sunday!
  • spending time with my mom
  • watching inception
  • the beach
  • meeting mr right
  • seeing australians again (been thinking about them)
  • going to Paris sometime
  • Christmas!!!
  • walking my dogs and not getting run down
  • playing with my dogs (bc thats always good)
  • driving
  • a night out with friends
  • more tv...(did i say that already?)
  • one day buying my very own Sweets from heaven
  • dessert
  • happiness
  • a message fom him
  • and lastly...blogging again :)

"There's nothing scarier than getting exactly what you want, 'cause then you really have something to lose."


Thursday, December 16, 2010

late at night i become selfish

theres nothing worse than being me right now. awake
and upset
somewhat lonely

but its almost 3am and this is to be expected
"people are asleep right now lisa"
no one cares
and even if they do, they wont show it till morning
and by morning it will be to late
maybe even, less appreciated

all i want is the perfect guy with the same sleeping patterns as me
the guy who stays up with me
who loves me
...and is it crazy that this is all making me tear up (she says with tears rolling down her cheeks)
-i cry easily, things make me sad, dont judge me-

i just want people to be there always
whenever i need them
i want them to be nice
and love me

i want to go to sleep

and i cant.

so i'll send him another sms
and i'll wipe my tears

and i'll tell myself that its okay to be selfish...
its okay to want silly things and be upset

its okay to be hungry
but too lazy to go to the fridge

and lastly, its okay to be sad


i just found out i passed all my end of year exams, my parents were so happy
so am i
its just, my parents care more
and they are really good at showing their excitement

i am really proud of the A i got for Psychology
my major*

....but do i want to do this for the rest of my life? im still not sure
will fill you in when i eventually figure it out


Tuesday, December 14, 2010

it's almost 3am

picture taken from andrea's computer (lol) or maybe she sent it to me? im not sure, i just have it and like it. also, saw those glasses today and am regretting not buying them

i had gone to bed and everything when i just thought..."i would really like to be on the computer right now" and then i was getting too hot and then thought i should close my window and it was like the universe was telling me to get out of bed...also, the smell of paint was killing me...well not actually but im just scared of the smell after what happened to my old math teacher who spent the day in a tiny room painting and then fainted in class. . . but not the good kinda faint...gosh...just thinking about it disturbs me, the one moment he was sitting on the desk and the next thing he began falling forward till he crashed to the ground, and he was a huge man and so smart, one of my favourite teachers. flip. i actually might get sick thinking about this. omg



*enter fine

im not going to finish that story, maybe another day (lol take that as never...ask me in person (so you can hold my hair back incase i throw up) not gona lie, i have a whats the word Faheem uses? sensitive? no not that...anyway i have a sensitive stomach, i can get sick quite easily omg what am i typing? this was meant to be a happy blog before bed. a blogpost that would make me go sleep

i think i just saved this picture bc i thought he was hot...hmmm he is hot
they painted the wall outside my bed room hence the smell of paint, not to long ago my little brother fell through the roof, well not completely through...its a long story and an entirely new blogpost...anyway the insurance people came and got people to fix it and they painted and everything. good as new. looking at it...the colour of the wall is..."nice" i've said that three times today "this is a really nice wall colour" ...we all said it, bc thats the only way it can be described...and it is really nice!

anyway andrea jane spoke of christmas cookies and i was in bed craving them. desperatly. and then i realized that today is only Tuesday and that we will only be making them on MONDAY (yes, i was going to write this exact line on her facebook wall)

"im just gona call it the wall" - mark zuckerber

the real point of this blogpost is what i eventually found in the fridge, it was a little dessert my mom bought for me this afternoon and i had forgotten about....and goodness it was delicious. i sat here thinking "omg what is this????" ....

sweet berry sauce on top, a delicious creamy filling with and amazing biscuit crust... and then i thought "hey, this is exactly like cheese cake" ...only to look down and study it abit better and realize that it was infact cheese cake....point of my story is the biscuit craving is gone :) or it has just transformed into a cheese cake craving bc just typing this makes me want more...i actually got so hungry thinking about this that i got up and fetched some potato salad from the fridge, im sitting here eating it straight from the container, which if my mom saw, she would kill me...bc im not gona finish all of this actual fact i dont even like potato

so this blog post didnt turn out at all how i wanted it to be...
i dont care tho, i started off by talking about mr murrison fainting, everything is bound to go downhill from there...did i mention that when he eventually opend his eyes, he started throwing up? have you ever seen your teacher throw up?

ah life. you can be so dramatic at times

lol ... in other unrelated news, how great is annie leibovits?...though it must suck to google your own name and not even have a picture of you pop up

her pictures are amazing though


she gets me and im her biggest fan.

Its a strange term don’t you think “I'm your biggest fan”...whats the definition of that anyway? soo tempted to urban dictionary google it...but I wont bc I'm lazy

but if you know me well, then you know about my obsession with corinne bailey rae (i even love her name) and her music is

How great is she? I’ve been inlove with her music since mid high school, I always liked her “put your record on” till jess gave me a copy of her CD and I fell inlove with each and every song on it...her music is insane. I think of all the things I’ve been through and how it can relate to anything I want it to be (the way I like)

I must have played that poor cd over and over a hundred times (or more) is the greatest music to study to, dance to or even to just have in the background on a Sunday and now I sound like I'm writing a review on her music

I just cant explain this kind I love. I think she is awesome...literally. I want to be as cool as her when I grow up. ... actually thinking about that just breaks my heart bc I’ll never be as cool as her

What I can say is, whenever I have my earphones in and am singing the words, my dad always asks “are we listening to ‘o bailey Rae again?”

and that every now and then I catch my little brother singing along bc even HE knows the words

Music makes me happy, but her music takes happiness to the next level. Even the sad songs...i love them, bc they speak the words of my heart

Saturday, December 11, 2010

are you here?

I spent a night with you, and then all I wanted to do was spend every free moment of mine with you...but thats not what happened. For the first time in a while I was confused...and as I remembered earlier, we became really cute, we would talk and you would remember things, the small things, you made me laugh and I'd obsess about that night I spent with you. Which I'm not going to talk about ...bc after a while you forgot about me, maybe it was my fault...for not trying and being upfront. Maybe thats what you needed...what we needed....but you moved on and I moved back... to my comfort zone...we didn’t kiss that night, but we wanted to.....

We spoke about going on picnics and seeing each other, but nothing ever happened, I don’t believe in regrets, I just feel stupid for not knowing better and not trying harder? As they say...the worse thing about life is that it gives you the test before the lesson

We were stupid, and awkward and I'm sorry

I'm sorry that I like you and that you’re so darn perfect when I'm with you and that we didn’t work, so I sit here and tell myself that if we were meant to work we would bc lets face it...thats so true and you’re leaving...

but you’re leaving” “forget that I'm leaving, now why shouldn’t you kiss me” your defence you were drunk and just a boy who wanted me weeks ago

I cant, what if I kiss you and fall inlove” “you wont” “but what if I do” ...and maybe both of us should have taken this question more seriously....maybe I hope we didn’t kiss, even though the touch of your lips is indescribable...”you can kiss another girl, lets find you another girl *smiling unconvincingly*” “no, I don’t want another girl, I want you” ...thinking about it all could I not kiss you? Even though it wasn’t what I dreamt it to be, you somehow made it okay

You kept trying...why? I'm not that much of an accomplishment...or maybe I am, but I don’t like to be played with, I'm so over games

And yet somehow I keep going back to how perfect you are, the things you remembered, why remember if you don’t love?, yes that word came up, more than once, "no, but what if I love you" and not only by you, by your friend as well...

You're friend...yes. For a what seemed like forever, you were gone and I was left alone on the dance floor with him...and the awkwardtisity lasted for about aslong as it took him to tell me where you were. He was cute and treated me like we've been friends forever, like he knew me. He took me aside. To the bar. He bought me drinks and flirted with me and then he told me that "you're a good guy" and that you really liked me...that you spoke about me. He saw right through me and smiled so convincingly. He was charming

I wish I could remember more...or maybe its good that i don't. I know how this story ends and that holding onto this memory will probably destroy me eventually...then again, this post is holding onto the memory

I just don't understand you...and I don't think that's fair. Woman say men are complicated and I never believed it till I met you...

"Lisa this is the third time we've been together and I really want to kiss you" ... typing this I can hear him saying it, in his accent. His words and he remembered? The first time we met? And he counted it as a 'meeting'? ... He remembered so much...he thought about me. I remember when he left and didn't let me know, for a week he was gone and out of touch and I vowed I'd stop liking him. Till he came back and immediately sent me an apology message and asked me how I had been and what he had missed out on...why did we lose that? Our cuteness?...I know the answers. I just don't like them

You found out I had a boyfriend on facebook., I'm not even going to defend myself on that...not here

"The last time you wouldn't kiss me bc you had a boyfriend"..."A kiss means a lot to me" I told him...but he stole one anyway...he made me kiss him. For gds sakes I'm just a girl and I was head over heels for him

"Remember those stairs" he said...gosh "of course I do, its all I've thought about" was what is should have told him. Ah...the first time he held me and made me feel like things could last forever

I don't love you, I just know I could, if you had given me a chance, if you weren't concerned about other girls or the fact that you knew we couldn't have anything real, that you would go home and that everything was just temporary

You said "hold on" and propped me up, so I could wrap my legs around you and we could kiss...and we did. And now those kisses feel short, that whole evening does, like its disappearing. And we won't have it back, you're gone now and you don't care...and maybe that's your way of getting over this, just not.caring ...I don't know how you do it, maybe you have better things to care about and that you're through caring about me bc I didn't try hard enough in the beginning. Maybe I broke your heart like you break mine, by not replying to my messages or not talking to me

Maybe through all this there is a lesson, but my mind is still a wreck and I can't see it...I miss you and now you're gone and I don't know what to do, besides pretend that everything is okay and hope you miss me to

#nowplaying "i'd do it all again" by Corinne bailey Rae


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

three things

a facebook message, the movie: eat pray love and andrea's last blog post wrapped-in-black

"Did I mention I hate people who come into my life, make me feel happy and then just I don't know if this answers your question or anything, or if I sound rude or something...

All I can say is please keep in touch and keep safe and come back*...and that I hope you meet someone you can have an amazing relationship with back home, I'll always be here if you need relationship advice and I'd be lying if I said I'm not gona miss you

Love Lisa ♥"
 ...was what i just said in reply to Murray's inbox. I sat thinking today and realized that i may never see any of the australians again, which seems so strange

and then while watching eat pray love (which i would still be watching now, instead of blogging...if i had the second half andrea.)...i was reminded even more so of andrea's heartbreak (dramatic adjective) on twitter...theres a scene where julia roberts sits and types a "break up" email to David...which when i heard, made me feel like "omgosh...everything is going to be okay" ... and not just about these boys leaving to another country (yes my heart just sank while typing that) ... but people who leave in general

kay now i just want to cry...(but i wont)

just googled the email from the movie and here it is (yes the internet is awesome) i literally typed "what does she say in her email to david in eat pray love?" .... rereading it, i can only laugh at how much of an idiot i am*

Dear David,

We haven't had any communication in a while, and it's given me time I needed to think. Remember when you said we should live with each other and be unhappy so we could be happy? Consider it a testimony to how much I love you that I spent so long pouring myself into that offer, trying to make it work.
But a friend took me to the most amazing place the other day its called, The Augustium. Octavian Augustus built it to house his remains. When the Barbarians came they trashed it along with everything else. The Great Augustus Rome's first true great emperor. How could he have imagined that Rome, the whole world as far as he was concerned, one day would be in ruins. It's one of the quietest and loneliest places in Rome. The city has grown up around it over centuries. Feels like a precious wound, Like a heartbreak you won't let go of cause it hurts too good. We all want things to stay the same David. Settle for living in misery because were afraid of change. Of things crumbling to ruins. then i looked around in this place at the chaos its endured. The way its been adapted, burned, pillaged, and found a way to build itself back up again...and i was reassured. Maybe my life hasn't been so chaotic, It's just the world that is. And the only real trap is getting attached to any of it. ruin is a gift. Ruin is the road to transformation. Even in this eternal city. The Augustium showed me that we must always be prepared for endless waves of transformation.

rereading this now i realize that its got nothing to do with the australians leaving, and if you know me at all then you know the only guy i can relate this to .... skrew it! im trying to make a point here...

change is good... "ruin is a gift" ...the fact that they're leaving is okay and in the meanwhile i'll comfort myself with the dream of traveling to australia

Advice From Mans Best Friend

if you know me at all then you know i have a love for dogs, which is bigger than i let on. i dont just "love" my dogs, i am inlove with them* ...and then last night i came across this list of 
"18 Great Pieces of Advice From Your Dog" 
which i thought was super cleaver, so here they are...

1. Never pretend to be something you’re not.

2. Thrive on attention and let people touch you.

3. When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.

4. When it’s in your best interest, always practice obedience.

5. Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.

6. Take naps and always stretch before rising.

7. Run, romp, and play daily.

8. Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.

9. Be loyal.

10. Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
11. Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.

12. When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by and nuzzle them gently.

13. Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.

14. If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.

15. Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.

16. On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.

17. When you are happy, dance around and wag your entire body.

18. No matter how often you are criticized, don’t buy into the guilt thing and pout. Run right back and make friends.
happy wednesday everyone