my superfans are getting out of hand

it was nice

not being the odd one out

but

i didn't sign up for this

i told myself i didn't like people

i didn't need friends

and that i was absolutely fine being on my own

and maybe i gave in to all this in the beginning because i hate how people judge the lonely girl

or bc i was tired of feeling that people think im stuck up

maybe i just enjoyed the conversation

having people listen to me as i spoke on and on about my life

maybe i got ahead of myself

there is a thing as too much attention

try being in a room where everyone knows who you are and you dont know anyone

or trying to decide where to sit in class so that you dont offend someone

maybe im not explaining the seriousness of this all

maybe you dont understand how something like this could get out of hand

...

Guys move seats from the Other side of the class room to sit next to me

Girls bring there friends to meet me

they tell people about me

"we only say nice things about you"

they talk and ask questions

and wait on me

and follow me

they know where i am

and see who im with

and ask questions

so many questions

and lets not get into those conversations with guys, who im just not interested in

sometimes i dont want to talk

i dont want to smile

or joke

or defend myself just bc you're going to disagree with me to make conversation

i dont want to have to pretend to like you

when i dont even know you

and i dont want to get to know you either

maybe im just rude

and ungrateful

or maybe im just tired of so many people being interested in me

maybe im in over my head

or am trying to be too nice to too many people

maybe i should quit while im ahead

but who am i kiddin'

i wouldn't know how

xoxo