made the cut – taylor swift #nowplaying



you told me i was pretty when i looked like a mess, today was a fairytale

been wanting to blog about #myGuy ever since I went on a date with him

time slows downs, whenever you’re around

and yes, I'm listening to taylor swift while typing this

and I know more than a handful of people who wouldn’t care about this post

and I hope the sunshines, and it’s a beautiful day, and something reminds you, you wished you had stayed.

 but we went on a date

something I had wished for ever since I met him

and it was the sweetest experience

today was a fairytale, I wore a dress, you wore a dark grey tshirt

he said everything I wanted to hear

and tried so hard to make everything perfect

and we did my favourite thing

and both wore sunglasses

 

---

we drove around in his car and sang along to our favourite songs

we compared music

and kissed we while maroon 5 played

we sat in a rose garden, and looked at old buildings

we shared a drink

and laughed at his actual fear of squirrels 

and I was nervous and awkward, and he was too

he picked a rose for me

and spoke to strangers

(about the severity of a squirrel bite)

and he held me close

and fixed the rose in my hair

ohhh I need you baby, don’t be afraid, please jump then fall, jump then fall into me

his friends saw us kiss

and he held me when I tried to pull away

and said it was fine

and that

“this has been the most perfect afternoon”

and

“I don’t know why, but I just can’t stop smiling”

and maybe he didn’t think I was as into him, as much as I was

and we went out again after that

but it wasn’t the same

and I don’t understand why I made him so awkward

or why he was so nervous

or maybe he just thought we were too different to work out

maybe I intimidated him,

I knew too much

and spoke too often

and he was so quiet the second time we went out

maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance

but I cant forget sitting in his arms while he cracked jokes

or us making crazy plans of things we could do together

or being mistaken as his girlfriend

stupid girl, I shoulda known, I shoulda know, that I'm not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale

and in the end, he just wasn’t what I needed him to be

he stoped talking to me

and when we did eventually talk, and planned to see each other

it never worked out

and then one night I read a quote from eat, pray, love that not only made me cry

but also made me realise that its okay things didn’t work out the way I wished them to be

so I deleted him

tried to forget him

stalked him on twitter

and then re-invited him again

and we spoke for abit

but then never again

till this morning when his brother invited me

“his phone has gone in for repairs, and he said I should add you so you guys could chat”

 

and there you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me, just like I’ve always wanted, but I'm so sorry, cause I'm not your princess, this aint a fairytale, I'm going to find someone someday who might actually treat me well

[kay maybe that quote is abit dramatic]

 

But, I don’t know what to say anymore

Its better to have love and lost, than to never have loved at all?

Gross.

I still really like him

Just wish he would like me too.

Long live the walls we crashed through, I had the time of my life, with you.

 

xoxo