i like not being smart when it comes to you

my love for #myGuy isn't logical

it isn't even really real

but he's the perfect distraction

the best

i saw him briefly Friday night

i also realised that i dont like him as much as i thought i did

i don't know what im going to do about him

oh
and i stole his beanie.

xoxo

love me or leave me alone.

been having such a good day, up until now

nicolas left, and im home alone

(yes burning horrible smelling incense changes my mood)

i dont even feel like blogging

my nails are metallic silver and look like coins

im drinking delicious tea

am having a good hair day

and im listening to "top of the world" on repeat

still, im bleak

maybe i need to take a nap

maybe i shouldn't have gone to bed at 5am

maybe i wish people were a little nicer

and that i wasn't so heartbroken all the time

(yes, last night hurt)

everything shouldn't be this hard

 

x

pictures coming soon.

yes, i've become abit obsessed with editing photo's

"Lisa changed her profile picture"

(so much is going on, i have afew crazy things to blog about, cant wait)

xoxo

sometimes i wonder

its past 4am

and ever since this afternoon i've been wondering....

i sat for hours, just in his arms

and we talked

i played with his hair

and he tangled his fingers in what ever loose item of clothing i was wearing

he really liked me

and now that its all over

i cant forget

(and if it were up to me, i'd never have wanted it to end)

"why wont you call me emma?" #modernfamilyquote

and im sitting here on the floor drinking mint green tea

wondering if he misses me,

 if those moments meant as much to him as it did to me

i am so inlove with him.

i wonder if he remembers....

i miss him.

xoxo

my latest obsession

im just a girl

with a bedazzeld phone cover

dont hate it

embrace it.

xoxo

Don’t love me

i remember once getting a facebook inbox

from a guy I was sort of friends with at varsity

all he said was “can I ask you something?”

to which I replied

“look, if I wanted to go out with you, I would have asked you myself”

Thinking about him, reminds me that I still have him on facebook

I should really delete him

anyway,

here are afew reasons why you shouldn’t love me:

1.     I don’t love you back

2.     If I did love you back, you would know

3.     Just bc I smile, flirt, maybe even kiss you, doesn’t mean I like you

4.     If you do like me, don’t do it behind my back, be upfront about it, tell me to my face, preferably via text, this way I’ll let you know personally I don’t like you back

5.     Don’t like me, its just annoying for me, and sad for you, mostly bc now I'm feeling bad bc you like me and I don’t like you back...see what you’ve gone and done

6.     Just don’t like me

7.     If you do so happen to like me....get over it or maybe just check in with me first? Bc maybe I do like you back? Or maybe you’re really cute and then we could have something? Though I highly doubt the latter

8.     Check my blog and twitter, even facebook, bc if I haven’t mentioned you, I totes don’t like you

[awkward that I’ve gone off track]

9.     I’ll break your heart, trust me, I’ve done this before ... not on purpose of course, thats just rude

10.  I’ve just come out of a relationship .... lol this isn’t a real excuse, just thought it would be fun to say

11.  I'm not entirely sure I want to be inlove with someone

12.  Rereading #2 I think its a lie....again, check in with me, though if I say we should hook up or go out....or if I make any effort at all, then I like you

13.  I'm really picky when it comes to guys.....kiddin, its not about looks, kiddin, as long as you have nice hair, nice eyes, a good smile, facial hair and a good body then I’ll probably, most defiantly like you back, also if you have an accent, then that would be a plus, or if you played guitar or sang....if you don’t have/do any of these, then you shouldn’t love me ..... hmmm though even if you do (thinking about the guy I mentioned in the start) I probs still wont love you back

yeah thats it

personally I think guys who like me are annoying

or maybe bc none of the right guys seem to like me

and to be honest, I would never notice if a guy likes me

well beside the ones that tell me to my face

but then my friends, Faheem and sometimes even my mom, are like

“you know he probably likes you”

Or sometimes they just say

“he likes you”

and then its just awkward for everyone

kay not for everyone, but just for me

liking people is soo overrated

I say this even though, I really like a guy and he doesn’t like me back

guess thats life

the cycle of life

or the cycle of love

lol

xoxo



made the cut – taylor swift #nowplaying



you told me i was pretty when i looked like a mess, today was a fairytale

been wanting to blog about #myGuy ever since I went on a date with him

time slows downs, whenever you’re around

and yes, I'm listening to taylor swift while typing this

and I know more than a handful of people who wouldn’t care about this post

and I hope the sunshines, and it’s a beautiful day, and something reminds you, you wished you had stayed.

 but we went on a date

something I had wished for ever since I met him

and it was the sweetest experience

today was a fairytale, I wore a dress, you wore a dark grey tshirt

he said everything I wanted to hear

and tried so hard to make everything perfect

and we did my favourite thing

and both wore sunglasses

 

---

we drove around in his car and sang along to our favourite songs

we compared music

and kissed we while maroon 5 played

we sat in a rose garden, and looked at old buildings

we shared a drink

and laughed at his actual fear of squirrels 

and I was nervous and awkward, and he was too

he picked a rose for me

and spoke to strangers

(about the severity of a squirrel bite)

and he held me close

and fixed the rose in my hair

ohhh I need you baby, don’t be afraid, please jump then fall, jump then fall into me

his friends saw us kiss

and he held me when I tried to pull away

and said it was fine

and that

“this has been the most perfect afternoon”

and

“I don’t know why, but I just can’t stop smiling”

and maybe he didn’t think I was as into him, as much as I was

and we went out again after that

but it wasn’t the same

and I don’t understand why I made him so awkward

or why he was so nervous

or maybe he just thought we were too different to work out

maybe I intimidated him,

I knew too much

and spoke too often

and he was so quiet the second time we went out

maybe I was naive, got lost in your eyes and never really had a chance

but I cant forget sitting in his arms while he cracked jokes

or us making crazy plans of things we could do together

or being mistaken as his girlfriend

stupid girl, I shoulda known, I shoulda know, that I'm not a princess, this ain’t a fairytale

and in the end, he just wasn’t what I needed him to be

he stoped talking to me

and when we did eventually talk, and planned to see each other

it never worked out

and then one night I read a quote from eat, pray, love that not only made me cry

but also made me realise that its okay things didn’t work out the way I wished them to be

so I deleted him

tried to forget him

stalked him on twitter

and then re-invited him again

and we spoke for abit

but then never again

till this morning when his brother invited me

“his phone has gone in for repairs, and he said I should add you so you guys could chat”

 

and there you are on your knees, begging for forgiveness, begging for me, just like I’ve always wanted, but I'm so sorry, cause I'm not your princess, this aint a fairytale, I'm going to find someone someday who might actually treat me well

[kay maybe that quote is abit dramatic]

 

But, I don’t know what to say anymore

Its better to have love and lost, than to never have loved at all?

Gross.

I still really like him

Just wish he would like me too.

Long live the walls we crashed through, I had the time of my life, with you.

 

xoxo