this should be fun...

it's past two am and ...

im awake

chatting to murray on facebook, who just explained the time difference to me
(they're 9 hours ahead...flip, i think)

and listening to deathcabforcutie (for the vibe)

this music actually just reminds me of driving around with kyle and james

....

and why wouldn't i want to think about that?

(its late and im feeling emo -- kay thats not true, but i have no better word to explain how i feel... oh wait, i think im just tired...yeah...like im actually upset for being awake bc im really tired-- wow)

and maybe i just want to get lost in memories

Kyle never uploaded all the pictures he took on facebook, and i feel like i may never ever see them again... and "ever" is a really long time

this place was beautiful

i like this,
i remember james pushing me infront of this beautiful gate so that kyle could get a picture...
but it was awkward just standing there
 i honestly couldn't do it



i feel like im one of those people who pose for photo's -- i hate this, like i just want to punch myself -- but .... i really like photo's

~ tweeted 1 hour ago

i just couldn't pose





how great are kyle's pictures? really. im obsessed all over again



im not sure if i miss andrea right now
 i just saw her this afternoon

but i think i do

its more of a "i dont know when i'll see you again bc i might miss you" feeling

and thinking about things, i really want to see those pictures she took of me feeding squirrels

ahhh i love us

i refuse to type the words "i miss you"

realizing that when im with friends im a better person than when im alone

yeah, this is probably something i should work on

theres that saying "you can never be lonely if you like the person you're alone with"

thats a facebook status right there*

feeling like i'd be able to sleep much better if i were in andrea's bed...but only bc i love it!

ah good memories of cold nights and her amazing electric blanket

my bed just cant compare

i think im falling out of love with my bed

#whatiswrongwithme

#thisisahugeproblem

#really

maybe i should invest in a new one

xoxo

For him (confessions of a blogger)

i could explain why i've been thinking about him
i could make excuses
i could lie
i could pretend i dont feel this way


but
what would be the point?
and maybe it's bc im lonely, bc im avoiding Someone else, bc the Australian girls reminded me soo much of him
wait...
i said i wouldn't make excuses


and then Nylon uploaded this song by Adele & The XX which i love
and probably killed in one night

"the scars of your love

remind me of us

 they keep me thinking

 that we almost had it all"

and yes, i went through afew of his Facebook pics

listening to it

missing him

wanting him ....

wow -- confessions of a blogger

and now i cant stop thinking about him

really

for a while i thought i forgot about him

i haven't spoken to him since last i saw him

last month? no longer ago

last year?

i remember Andrea being like.. "yes, i love you two together"

i wonder what he thought about that

i wonder how he felt about me hesitating to kiss him

i wonder if he thinks about me

if he hates me

i wonder if we would have worked together

if thats something he wanted...though i highly doubt it

still...

its nice to think about

we would sit around talking about nothing ...

"i love your accent" "no, i love your accent"

we would drink wine

and picnic

we would go out with friends

you would make fun of how stupid i am

you would try to understand me

and teach me about silly things

and listen to what i say

no -- i will not cry over a fantasy

you would let me play with your hair

and sleep in your arms

and kiss my forehead

we would kiss

everything would be perfect

really

you're really good looking

and well, i like you

i do...

glasses on

i've been putting off blogging since...maybe ten o clock, i even tweeted about it, only to have some random guy (who i hoped was hot -- but was NOT) tweet me, trying to inspire me to blog

currently obsessing over Eliza Doolittle -- ALOT!

like, im tempted to make andrea a CD so we can play it in her kitchen obsessed

"What's wrong with bein' a nobody?
That nobody knows and has no buddies
And I should know 'cause I am one of these
Happy to blend and I really am honestly"

it sounds so emo, but she sings it really upbeat, you're just forced to sing along

yes im playing her music super loud bc my parents aren't home

yes nicolas and i are singing along

yes he hates me bc he knows all the "stupid" lyrics

she even has two or three songs were she talks about getting arrested

haha ... love them

i haven't done anything for the past two days

i thought it would be nice to just chill at home

but the truth is, i've just been driving myself crazy with all the thinking i've been doing

i doubt this amount of thinking is even healthy

wondering what to wear to the met

and missing andrea

remembering murray being like...

 "so i heard this rumour, that when the two of you are separated for more than 5 hours, one of you gets cancer"

okay i could be miss quoting him, but it was something along those lines and super funny...ahhh what i'd give to have that night back

.:.

Well I know this little chapel on the boulevard...

currently obsessing over "i think i wana marry you" (marry you) the glee version

bruno mars is -- actually i dont have words for how great he is --

and then glee just makes his songs awesome!

yes. now i just want someone to marry

Don’t say no, no, no, no-no;
Just say yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah-yeah;
And we’ll go, go, go, go-go.
If you’re ready, like I’m ready

[i cant stop playing it!]

missing my friends so much

everyone who isn't currently here

#comeback

im so bored. not bc i have to be, but bc i want to be

well im just to lazy to be anything else

i even uploaded some pics on facebook



i love how cute nicolas can be. and his hair.



im not even amped for the shopping expedition im about to embark on later

--LOL cant believe i just typed those words--

i think im more amped for the smoothie that i will buy to drink while i shop

yes.

did i mention i actually ate breakfast this morning

since Saturday all i've been eating is my moms trifle

left over from christmas

and thank gd she put nuts in, else i wouldnt be getting any protein at all

eating is such a las

so is being vegetarian

but i just bring myself to eat meat again

no.

i feel like Julia Roberts in eatpraylove

"i dont have an appetite any more"

anyway, im off for some shopping*

xoxo

Behind the wheel

if only bicycles were cool and i never needed a licence

Sometime during this past week my little cousins came over, there are about 3 of them, including my brother, which makes 4 and including me...makes 5 (I'm recalling the number bc I know I had to get out of bed and make them breakfast. Which is not the easiest thing in the world, but my mom wasn’t home and I was scared they would starve to death...they’re kids and so little)

I honestly do love them

Even though we all get annoyed with each other and argue over who gets to be on the computer. We all are pretty much like brothers and sisters. Of the five of us, there are two girls and three boys....now why am I saying all this?

Oh right, I want to tell you what we did...

We went to Grand West, think about it, we don’t give that place enough credit and with the right people it has the potential to be epic. EPIC

So I had my right people and we set off

And after much debating we eventually arrived at some conclusion as to what we would do for the evening... wait. You’re probably wondering why I would say Grand West is epic?...no one even goes there.... But there’s just SO much to do! Movies, games, ice skating, go carts, fun rides, bowling, and they have amazing restaurants and bathrooms! Seriously. ...and now that I'm 18, lets not forget the casino ... which, I still haven’t been to and not sure I want to, isn’t it for, like, old people? What would I even do? Would I lose money? Wait...could I win money? Could I win a car? Omgosh... #ineedanswers!

So anyway, we went ice skating, which is always such a vaab, I'm really good at it, and can’t remember the last time I’ve fallen. I think I may even want skates for Christmas. Yes! And there were these two little girls who were total pro’s at skating, dancing around and doing actions to whatever song that was playing. It was pure fun. I want to go again, why didn’t we go with the Australians or something? Thats the touristy thing to do isn’t it?

After skating was Go carting...though I think we grabbed a bite to eat first, again, feeding 5 mouths is never easy. We also bumped into my dad who then was convinced to come watch us, while we went on the go carts, and in my head I already knew he would judge me on this for future driving

Lets just say I have a history of speeding? Kay thats a lie, it was that one time on a quad bike. Which my mom will never forget!



Go carting was brutally competitive, the boys where in front in the beginning but I eventually passed each and every one of them, the last  one being "a very close call" as my dad put it

But thats not what I wanted to say, I wanted to blog about what happened after that...theres another mini go cart tract, its smaller but faster, so much more faster and by the look of it...i should have known it was unsafe...but this was my chance to beat the boys. Again

So I buckled my seatbelt (a single strap) around my waist, tied up my hair, and kept my right foot down hard on the acceleration, even before the race had begun. I should have been listening to what the man was saying...but common, this thing was tiny, how complicated could it be? ... all I caught was “if you bump the side twice, you will be thrown off, no refund” and “shake the steering wheel if you get stuck”....and then we were off

Its funny how you forget things when something traumatic happens its the brains way of coping with things

I remember discovering that the more you shake the steering wheel the faster your little car went, but logically the more you shake the steering wheel, the less control you have over your little car.

 I remember passing Nicolas before we took the bend, when I swerved out of control and the front of my car touched the side of the railing but then, the next thing Nicolas came flying straight into the back of me hitting me hard and ramming me straight into the railing, spinning my little car completely sideways.

 It was loud. All the cars on the track stopped. Everything stopped.

And my seat belt hit me hard. Really hard, for a moment I thought “dear God please don’t tell me I broke my pelvis bone”,

my hair was mess and I was in complete shock!

The stupid man came over and told me “not to do it again blaaa blaaa” he was rude.

But wait, did I mention that all of this happened right infront of my father, he witnessed the whole thing and mouthed the words “are you okay?” to me...

the next three or four laps feel like a blur, and even though I was scared shitless, I still wanted to win.

Which didn’t happen

So what lesson do we learn here children? Speed kills

When we got home my dad gave a “I cant believe that out of all the go cart races I watched tonight, the only accident that happened was between my children” speech

Which involved him and Nicolas arguing about who caused the accident

 while I sat there saying...

 “but those cars were really fast and completely out of control”...every now and then

I cant say I never want to race again, I totally won the first race, did I mention I beat all the boys? But I can say I never want to go on those stupid things again bc really

“those cars were really fast and completely out of control”

xoxo

Effortlessly red

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"i think its a good thing i chose to do photography  over physics" 
~Nicolas George

The Story Behind these:

i know these are super posed and that im wearing make up and everything

but the truth is, i didnt plan this at all

My mom does this thing where she buys me clothes* ...she's an obsessive shopper

you know, like in the movies where the mom goes out and buys clothing for her little girl so she can dress her up.

Well thats my mom, still.

and so im used to coming home and finding new clothes laid on my bed, waiting for me to try on.

This evening i came home to this gorgeous dress, i remember fitting it on immediately, and then just coming to sit here by the computer in it. 

Just being on Facebook in my New Black dress, bc i can

im not sure how i came across my camera, i think i wanted to show Nicolas a few pictures on it. Oh yes, bc i had taken pictures of him, earlier...and then we decided to take pictures of my beautiful new dress, against the red wall we have here at our place

so i put on some red lipstick, and the rest is history*

despicable me [lyrics review?...kinda]

so apparently my last post was really sad

im not going to remove it, i like it

gosh, is that okay to say?

i just read the review on black swan. im scared. really. i dont want to see it anymore...

but i do

omg

here read it: sparksnotes review:black-swan

and now im just scared and i dont know whats okay and whats not

:) im listening to fun fun fun by Pharrell, he wrote most of the songs for the movie Despicable Me

it is! my new fave

i cant explain how cute it is

i've been watching it over and over

and Pharrells words are great, not to mention his voice!

the lyrics to the first song "despicable me" go something like...

Im having a bad bad day
its about time that I get my way
steam rolling whatever i see,
ah despicable me

I’m having a bad bad day
if you take it personal thats ok,
watch this is so fun to see,
ah despicable me 

(rap part)

Why ask why better yet why not?
Why are you marking x on that spot?
Why use a blow torch isn’t that hott?
Why use a chainsaw is that all you got?
Why do you like seeing people in shock?
But my question to you is why not?

[Chorus]

Why parallel when I can just park?
Why does vector think that he’s smart?
And does his dad know I know his part
Why did I have to live with my mom?
Why do you think that I should be calm?
Why want the moon, the Worlds in my palm!

and then it ends off with...

Can you chill?
Cause Gru Got the speakers and the trunk to make you
Bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce
To make you bounce, bounce, bounce, bounce

haha okay, i cut out some words there and maybe you should download it so you can hear him just being cool and asking the simple question of "why?"

"fun fun fun" is so happy, its written for when Gru (the lead character) is with the kids and they go to a fan park

#adorable

Take me, far away

anywhere.

       As long as it's fun fun fun fun fun fun fun I wanna go!


     The school bell rings, what ive been waiting for.

 And you just spring, and run for the door,
hey its summer mom, hey its summer dad,

 man its been so long, since the children had...
A good time

Hey, maybe it all probably takes it's toll?

 hey, but didn't i make honor roll?

either way, eat your words
it's our time we deserve.

Oh to have a good time.

Take me, far away, anywhere.

 As long as it's fun fun fun fun fun fun fun I wanna go!

No more homework, or PTA.

No more lunch food, as toxic waste.
Lets get Mickey D's? as a matter of fact, lets get happy meals, wanna sundae man?

its our time, we deserve.

Oh to have a good time.

just.makes.me.happy



"its sooo fluuuurrrfffy!"



and i know its 3am and i should be in bed

im okay guys

i have God

#thingstolookforwardto:

• eventually going to sleep
• tomorrow
• shopping
• seeing my friends and watching tv
• those biscuits we will make #omgiwantthem
• tomorrow being over
• Sunday!
• spending time with my mom
• watching inception
• the beach
• meeting mr right
• seeing australians again (been thinking about them)
• going to Paris sometime
• Christmas!!!
• walking my dogs and not getting run down
• playing with my dogs (bc thats always good)
• driving
• a night out with friends
• more tv...(did i say that already?)
• one day buying my very own Sweets from heaven
• dessert
• happiness
• a message fom him
• and lastly...blogging again :)

"There's nothing scarier than getting exactly what you want, 'cause then you really have something to lose."

xoxo