if only....

marie claire photo shoot

how beautiful are these pictures...i may just want to retake photo's of myself looking just like her

life is short, so live fast, die young and leave a pretty corpse*

i love you and i love us

i remember Christian saying: "its so hard to find friends like you guys" ...

and i never realized it till i spent time with a few old old friends and came home and told my mom how annoying they were. ah, maybe the bar is set really high now, maybe average people are just too average for me

i just feel like life is to short to hang out with people who are lame and i love the amazing few friends i have now...

my friends who make me smile just by being there*

"im lovesick and waiting...

For the day when you make everything brand new

But my heart's grown hard from a hope that's lost
All weather tossed, all sore and cross"



picture compliments of andrea jane*

its two am and i shouldnt be blogging, but i have this song stuck in my head...and im thinking, does this happen to normal people? you feel a certain way and then you get a song, that describes exactly how you feel, stuck in your head... maybe it doesnt, maybe im just a musical genius :)

i am probably having one of the worse couple of past days ever..gee, that doesnt even make sense, did i mention its past two am? i have an essay due tomorrow, well Thursday, i like to maintain the belief that it is not the next day till i have gone to bed*

i think its funny how i've been praying for something to look forward to and then today in the post, i found out that i got provisional acceptance to do biotechnology next year, it makes me excited just saying it :) tho dont quote me next year when im complaining about test and exams...still, call me rude, but i want something else, something more, something to tell my friends about and day dream of...

ahhh blogging, its kinda conceited to sit around and talk about my day (yes, i know its not the only thing i HAVE to talk about) still...its so much effort being creative at this hour...one day this blog will be cool, like all the awesome things i read on sparknotes (sparkblog) and then i'll smile knowing that my blog will make people happier just by reading it (ahhh im so considerate) but back to my day... i didnt go to university, and dont intend to tomorrow, dont ask why, bc i dont have a specific reason (and if i did, you'll never know) and thinking about it, as sad and tired and stressed as i feel at the moment, there where things in my day that made me smile; the waffles i had for supper, the discovery of peartizer in our fridge (i swear my mom hides things, if you want the good stuff you gotta search! no room for lazyness in this house) chocolate, tv...seeing him online-knowing he's there, facebook wallposts, tea, having a good hair day, my dogs fighting (not literally) for my attention and to sit next to me while i attempted to study outside, this picture...

of my dog sleeping in her kennel she had when she was a puppy and which is clearly to small for her today, eventually she sleeps with her body stretched out and her head on the floor...but i have yet to get a picture of that...ahh if only she knew its not good to hold onto the past <--- new moto in life*...kinda sad, very hard, but i can do it...i know i can, its just soo much effort lol

okay its 3am now. this is why i don't blog, it take up too much time, kiddin' this felt nice :) will do this again soon, after my essay, when maybe im less emo about things (and by things i mean boys)

don't get me wrong i love life and the fact that i'll be able to wake up tomorrow and make tea and eat chocolate... :)

maybe it's time

so maybe it's time, ive had this blog page for a couple of days now, just never felt the need to blog, not that i feel it now but i like my twitter exactly how it looks at the moment*...another tweet for the night and it will all be ruined...haha who am i kiddin' you can never tweet to much :) <3 and Facebook is just Facebook "like a refrigerator, the more you open it, the more you dont find anything new" and when you do, its some stale photo of your ex boyfriend and some random chick and...well ....

i like blogs...i said i'd never need one and that my life was complete telling Andrea Jane everything, till she left and i realized i had no one to tell stuff, and as sad as what that may sound, its totally true (haha and now im thinking of so many people i could talk to...) kay so maybe its not true, but Andrea gets me, i can always trust her to tell me what to do, thinking about it, thats all a relationship really needs, to trust that someone will care for you, look out for whats best for you, love you always, never hurt you and always be there for you...wow thats a mouthful, i just made "trust" seem like so much effort, but its not, and when you are with the right people, its not an effort at all....

trust me*